Let’s face it — sometimes you just want to code as little as possible and still make the internet laugh. That’s why we’re dropping this pixel-powered gem into your lazy-but-brilliant brain:

Retro Horizons — a bizarre trip to an alternate universe where brands like Wendy’s, Netflix, and Ryanair had websites... powered by AI... in the 1990s.

You read that right. We asked ourselves, "What if ChatGPT had dial-up?" and then actually built the result.

Visit the madness here: retrohorizons.com #1

🍔 Wendy’s: “Where’s the Beef... and the Bandwidth?

Step into a world where Wendy’s is serving sass through ASCII menus and ordering a burger requires navigating dropdowns that scream "Web 1.0." Check it out: Wendy’s Retro AI Site

Bonus: Their AI chatbot may or may not be sentient and slightly rude. Just like their Twitter account today.

#2

☕️ Starbucks: Java with a Side of JavaScript Errors

Ever wanted to order a cappuccino through a Netscape-optimized UI? Welcome to Starbucks 1996, where AI tries to recommend your perfect coffee but crashes halfway through due to a missing .dll file. Starbucks AI Flashback

Best feature: Coffee sizes include Small, Medium, and Way Too Many Carbs.

#3

🎬 Netflix: One DVD at a Time (Now With Predictive Buffering!)

Imagine if Netflix’s AI could recommend movies — but only from 1998 and in 240p. Scroll through a catalog that’s half “The Matrix,” half “Please install RealPlayer.” Retroflix Here

It even auto-suggests movies “you might have rented if Blockbuster hadn’t closed.

#4

✈️ Ryanair: Flying Budget. Thinking Backward

Oh Ryanair… Their AI doesn’t disappoint: it suggests seat upgrades near the toilet, adds mysterious “keyboard maintenance fees,” and makes you click “Are you sure?” 47 times before checkout. Experience the glory: Ryanair Retro

Pro tip: Luggage not included. Sanity not guaranteed.

#5

🛒 Ikea: Powered by Allen Wrench & AI

Navigate a catalog where everything looks the same, but now there’s an AI assistant that still doesn’t understand what you want. It might ship you a single table leg. Visit Retro Ikea

Also, everything is yellow and blue and breaks if you scroll too fast. Just like assembling real Ikea furniture.

Why We Built This (Besides Procrastinating)

Because we could. Because nostalgia is cool. And because no one was asking for it — which is the best reason to do anything on the internet.

These sites are a celebration of pixelated nonsense, lo-fi charm, and what AI might have looked like if it had to run on Windows 95 with 8MB RAM.

All the sites: retrohorizons.com

Final Thoughts from a Lazy Dev

If you’ve ever:

• Used <marquee> unironically,

• Waited 3 minutes to download a 50KB GIF,

• Or coded your first site in FrontPage while eating cold pizza…

Then this is your multiverse.

Bookmark it. Share it. Laugh at it. Or just pretend you're being productive while clicking through it.

Until next time,

Stay lazy, stay creative, and don’t forget to “Optimize for Netscape.”